Annoying Waitress

My granddaughter and I visited our favorite local restaurant recently, and found that they had hired a new waitress. She waited on us. If she called me “sweetheart” or “honey” one more time, I was going to throw my salad on the floor. At least she didn’t call us “guys.” Another pet peeve of mine. I have boobs. I am not a guy. When she asked us what we wanted to drink, we ordered a sweet tea and a Coke. Simple right? No, she needed to know did we want unsweetened tea or sweetened tea. We told her “sweet tea.” She then asked if we wanted Diet Coke or regular Coke. We explained that we wanted “sweet tea” and “Coke.” When she brought the drinks, she gave the wrongs one to each of us. Both of our meals came with a salad, but my granddaughter didn’t want a salad and asked the waitress to give her salad to me. This meant mine would be double the size it normally was. Good. Great. Then she asked me what kind of dressing I wanted for my salad. Ranch. OK. Then she asked my granddaughter what kind of dressing she wanted on her salad. OMG. About that time, the head waitress, Norma, who normally waits on us, came over to our table. I think she could see the exasperation on our faces. I turned to Norma and said, “This one isn’t going to make it, Norma. She’s dumb as a rock.”